NovelBookChapter 448
| stood up and went into the bathroom to take a shower. | needed a minute away from his words, his truths. They
were ripping my heart open. | read letter after letter and it was like watching a car crash, but in slow motion. His
letters were taking on a slight desperation now. And even though | had never seen them before, | felt guilty
because it was my fault. | wasn't answering, and he was spiralling because of it.
| pressed my head against the cold glass. The hot water was pounding against my back, but my mind was still
stuck on the letters. His sadness. Our missed connection.
Missed connection? Nix was pressed against the barrier, as was Megan. They hadn't left my side since | started
in on the pile. They seemed to know more than they let on.
She means they had a chance, but they both messed it up. Megan answered Nix as | sunk lower into the dread in
my belly.
Did you two know? | whispered my question to my wolves. | needed to know how clueless | was.
Both of my wolves turned to face me. Nix pulled a slow blink and Megan looked away. A new pit opened up in my
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇtstomach. Amy... Nix started, but | felt my body shudder. She stopped, but | felt her sorrow hit me. Amy, it isn't
like what you are thinking.
I'm thinking that Erubus told you two about how Rowan was feeling, but you kept it to yourself. | sagged against
the wall.
Megan ran her side against the barrier to calmdown. Not exactly. He did his best to stay away from speaking
about Rowan, but we figured something like this happened.
| dropped to my knees and allowed the water to run over me. Something like this? | choked.
Not the letters we would have told you, but we assumed he hadn't been completely honest about his feelings for
you.
| sighed. At least they hadn't held that from me. | was already feeling quite betrayed by my dad, my
wolves...pretty much everyone. But if | found out they had purposefully hid the letters from me, | think that
would have brokenfully.
| lost track of the t| spent under the water. It took much longer than | would like to admit. But | needed the
shower to piece myself back together. Once | stepped out, | would be strong again, but right this second, |
needed a minute where | could break down.
You're allowed to be vulnerable, Amy. Megan sighed.
But Nix was already shaking her head. She can't. | just curled over my knees and allowed Nix to explain it Nix
straightened and turned. Alpha's, especially female alphas, need to be strong. Stronger than their males because
we get attacked so often. With us in here, she can be like this. But out in the world, she has to be strong, so she
doesn't open herself up to nonstop challenges.
Megan turned to look between the two of us. Are you serious?
Nix leveled her with a look. If you use your head, you would realize I'm right. The
whole reason for a gamma to watch the luna is because...?
Because lunas are targeted a lot. Megan finished.
Nix nodded. Why is that?
Because wolves don't understand that luna is not an earned position. It is a selected position in the pack. So if
there is a wolf who feels like they could win in a fight against thefuna, they challenge her, and the gammas step
in.
Exactly. Nix nodded. It's the sthing. Mate or not, Amy is an alpha. And wolves will automatically think they
can challenge her. For bragging rights or just to feel superior. Nix stopped. Now we both know Amy doesn't have
to worry, she is strong enough to protect herself But she shouldn't have to. She should be strong enough that
other wolves are too afraid to challenge her.
She is. Megan cut in.
Not if she shows this in front of the wrong person. Nix turned back to me. Her friends, her family, its fine but if
the wrong person sees this, she will be battling for her life every day.
Megan sighed. And all it takes is one mistake.
Nix nodded again. Exactly. My wolves sat back and watchedfall apart. Then, when | had finished crying, |
stood, finished my shower, and got out. What are you doing now? Nix's question was soft.
"I'm going to grab a bottle of wine, and I'm going to cback here and finish the letters." | slid my feet into my
slippers and opened the door to find my mom about to knock. "Mom?"
She looked down at the tray in her arms. "I heard you crying. | figured you might need swine, a snack, and a
listening ear."
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